You know? A man should be able to take a dump in peace, really. Is it that much to ask? When you go into the bathroom and there's somebody already in the stall next to you. They don't make a single noise. They don't move, they don't even breathe. They know that YOU know they are there yet this sit and don't make a move. Forcing you to let it all loose while they listen. I must have been in there for 4 minutes waiting for him to breath, cause I wanted him to relent first. If I had a newspaper to read, I would have stayed in there until every single last letter passed under my eyes. What a freaking awkward and displeasing visit to the loo. I would like to propose a federal law requiring the installation of speakers for the playing of music or a white noise generator in each bathroom across the country!
Furthermore, DON'T TALK TO ME in the bathroom, especially at the urinal. That's the cardinal rule of the men's bathroom. If you want to have watercooler talk, then speak to me at the sink... or THE WATERCOOLER!
-Serrated
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